A Lesson Learned

Last night, my husband had a great idea for date night! We love to change things up and try something new, so why not? :) He signed us up for a group bicycle ride. It included a class on biking etiquette while in a group as well as the how-to's. After the "class" we were to go on an hour (or so) long ride in our group. Sounds fun! Interesting! New! Something to do with my husband! Yippee!

Did I mention that when we pulled up to the bike shop that hosts this event, I began to feel sick to my stomach? I really thought that I was going to lose it as I looked around at all of the EXPERIENCED road bikers. I am a ride-through-the-park kind of girl...not a serious road biker!

So, I held my husband's hand and went inside to attend the class. As I stood there listening to the instruction, I began to panic more and more. As the class was dismissed to go out to our bikes, I began to tremble. And yes, I cried. "Honey, I can't do this! We need to go home!" Panic...that is the best word to describe it. The instructor came up behind me, "What is the problem?" I answered, "I can't do this", as tears were welling up. His response, "Get on your bike. Let's go."

Oh my...we were off. We caught up with the more experienced group who then left us in their dust. The "beginner" group paired up with those that were not so new. Thank heavens for my partner. She was so encouraging! Our task was to get into 2 lines with only 2 feet in between our front tire and the back tire of the person in front of us. We were to be shoulder to shoulder with our partner. This was TERRIFYING! Everything inside me was saying, "Don't ride so close to others! It is not safe!" But while my brain was shouting those words, the instructor was saying, "Kristina (he could not get my name right), watch your gap! Catch up! Come on!" This continued for 20 miles....the most stressful 20 miles I have ever ridden on my bike. Everytime that I would fall back, he would yell again. This tactic was not helping my nerves or my self-esteem. Finally, I had enough. My legs were burning, my brain was fried, and my emotions were about to fall apart. I told my wonderful husband that I was finished. We fell out of the configuration much to the dismay of the instructor.

Thank heavens my husband listened to me. I was a wreck. Did I mention that we were out in Dayton? Oh my...that's fine, we will just ride back to Chico at our own pace, no problem. At this point, Michael realized that something was just not quite right with his back tire. Upon looking at it closely, he realized that his rim had cracked! We would not be riding back to Chico. Fortunately, I had my cell phone and we called our amazing babysitters - a husband/wife team with a bike rack on their car. Mr. Babysitter came to our rescue 20 minutes later. Thank you, Mr. Babysitter!

As Michael and I were waiting for Mr. Babysitter, I was venting about how the instructor made me feel. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks! This is exactly how my children feel when they are trying with ALL of their might to do the right thing and I raise my voice at them. It made me shut down even more when he would yell at me. It made me feel terrible about myself and it was harder to "catch up" as my mind was so focussed on how awful it felt to be yelled at. I wept as I stood there knowing that there are times when I am the instructor and my children are the beginning bicyclists. All I could do was hold my children tight and apologize. Thank you, Lord, for using a negative situation to show me what you wanted me to learn.

And thank you, honey, for arranging an amazing date night. I love you!